Ask a Life Coach

Q: Dear Jackie,

My problem is embarrassing I am attracted to my boss and I know the feeling is mutual.  He always tells me I look nice, or smell good.  We have worked late a few nights and he has rubbed my shoulders and touches my hair.  You can feel the sexual tension in the air whenever we are together.  Now he has invited me to a conference in Toronto and I am so nervous.  I want this to happen but I am terrified it will ruin our working relationship.  Please help.

Anonymous

A: Dear Anonymous,

I think many of us have been attracted to our boss at one time or another.  All that power and testosterone can make a girl crazy.  But seriously, this is not a good idea.  For one thing, if he has crossed the boundaries with you, you can be sure he’s crossed them with others before you.  I have a feeling that this may have already crossed the line, even though you haven’t had sexual relations…yet.  Your boss is now expecting something more.  Either way, it has gone too far and the Toronto Conference will be the “nail in the coffin” This is one of those things that you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.  One of two things is going to happen:

  1. 1. You will sleep with him and he will move on.
  2. 2. You won’t sleep with him and he will move on.

You can do damage control now by sitting down and talking with him.  Let him know that you love your job but that you feel a romantic relationship will jeopardize the working relationship and you don’t feel comfortable with that.  Or, go ahead and let the chips fall where they may.  In both cases you need to start preparing your resumé and your heart.  Move on before your reputation and your heart are broke.

Jackie

 

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