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The 3 R’s & The 3 A’s – Feeling Keys

One of the most important tool – ever! This stuff really should be taught in schools.
This is an awesome tool when someone is having problems coming to terms with uncomfortable feelings, which applies to almost everyone at some time or another..

The Problem: Pain

When we feel sad, lonely or hurt our natural tendency is to choose not to feel these feelings because they are painful.

We resist them, and then alternate between running away from them in panic and running after them to try to catch and control them.

This running to and from painful feelings, reinforces them because they want to be felt and are shouting, “Feel me!”

These 3 R’s set up a vicious cycle…

  1. Resisting Reinforcing Resisting
  2. Running Away & Running After
  3. Reinforcing Running

However, the real problem is not our painful feelings but our reaction to them.

The Solution: Acceptance

The solution is to learn to become aware of the feelings, to befriend and accept them.

This then establishes a virtuous circle …

  1. Awareness Awareness Acknowledgement
  2. Acknowledgement
  3. Acceptance Acceptance

Tool: The 3 A’s

  1. Become Aware of the feeling. What is it? Use single words to describe it.
  2. Acknowledge the feeling, thank it for showing up!
  3. Now what is often the hardest part, Accept, Experience and Allow the feeling.

* By accepting the feeling and allowing it to be in your life, you acknowledge that there is room for all feelings – room for tears and room for laughter.

Jackie Lee Agnew –SSW Life Success Coach

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