Hi Jackie,
I am a single mom with a teenager at home who is getting into trouble and has no respect for me. I am constantly receiving calls at work from school about her. She never pays her phone so I end up covering the bill. She doesn’t work but wants new clothes and makeup. She has friends over constantly and they leave everything a mess. I am exhausted and tired of all the fights.
Please help,
Lisa
Dear Jackie,
I am working in a place that is filled with gossipers. All they do is talk about everyone else and it is stressing me out. I can’t even eat my lunch in peace.
What do I do?
Kate
Question:
Dear Jackie,
Things have been so stressful at work lately with all the layoffs and job cuts. The atmosphere at work is so dismal that I feel drained the minute I walk into the building. I am so thankful my job wasn’t one of those cut but I also feel guilty because many of my friends lost jobs. How can I be supportive but not feel dragged down? Also how do I prepare for the next time this happens?
Thanks,
Andrea
Question: I seem to take my work home with me and never get time to relax. How do I leave the office at the office and spend quality time with my friends and family?
Answer: It’s easy; don’t take it home with you, it will still be there tomorrow. Seriously though when you get home, first thing you need to do is change out of your work clothes and unless you are on-call, shut off the phone. Make a conscious decision to switch gears and leave the computer and work-worries at the office. Plan for fun at home and focus on what is most important in your life outside of work. If there are times when you just have to take work home make sure you schedule time for yourself. If you are consistently overloaded with work, maybe it is time to have a discussion with your manager to talk about workload, priority setting and expectations. They may not know that you are taking work home all the time. Maybe there is someone else in your work unit who may be able to lighten your load.
Question: My manager won’t let me make any decisions on my own. She complains about everything I do. I hate going in to work and have used up almost all my sick days.
Answer: If you are feeling like this, chances are your manager is feeling frustrated as well. Have you ever spoken to her about the issues? Have you ever asked her why she is unhappy with your work? Maybe her personality is to be controlling and negative, and it really has nothing to do with you. But even so, if your work is making you sick perhaps it is time for a change. You have resources available for you if you need someone to talk to about these kinds of problems. Contact your union local, or call the employee assistance program.
Question: My husband’s company is downsizing and his hours are going to be cut. It is only a matter of time before his position is cut completely. We are worried about our finances and what will happen to us.
Answer: First off you need to have a clear picture of how much money you owe and how much you are making. It is a shock to me when I realize how many people don’t know the answer to this question.
Next, right now I want you to put away your credit cards and debit. I recommend switching to cash using the envelope system. Make a list of all bills and have an envelope for each one. Each pay put the money in the envelope and pay the bill. Have an envelope for entertainment and stick to it.
Next step is to have your husband list his skills and passions. Now is the time to take training courses or switch careers before his job is cut. Make a list of his strengths and interests, take a career test.
Something else you may want to do is to call the bank or mortgage company and see if your mortgage is coming up for renewal. It may be easier to renew now while your husband is employed, than when his job is reduced or cut.
Always think ahead, if you hear your company is about to have layoffs or cuts, renew your resume and list your strengths. This is the time to make changes; it’s much easier now than after the fact.
Question: I met someone at work and we really hit it off. We talk and laugh and things just click, but I’m not sure if I should take that next step and ask him out.
Answer: I have some pretty strong thoughts on dating people you work with: Don’t Do It! Unless he is in a different department or you plan to change jobs. Office dating usually never ends well and can be uncomfortable for your coworkers who first witness all the office flirting and then go through the torture of the breakup. If he really is the one for you, then you may want to start looking for a transfer or a new job now.
Question:
My common law spouse has been out of work for 8 months. Each day I watch as he falls deeper and deeper into a state of depression. I try to keep his spirits up, but it’s taking a toll on me. Not to mention the strain the bank account! Lately he seems to be floudering more then usual. I would love to provide him with a list of concrete steps he can do to work toward finding a good job. I’m just not sure what these steps would be?
Answer:
I am so sorry you are going through this, he is lucky to have you by his side. What you need to understand is he is grieving and is going through the grief process. Most of us think of grief only after death but it can follow any loss. I have attached the five stages of grief and a few tools for you. Just a few thoughts before I answer question.
You didn’t say if he is seeing a counsellor for his depression or if he is taking an antidepressant/anti anxiety but if he’s not he needs to contact his family doctor for a prescription and name of a counsellor. also I was wondering if he is on EI, if he is he can be retrained for another career while on EI.
How do I deal with a difficult boss?
Do you have a difficult boss? Do you find it hard to work with your boss or feel that you cannot do anything right? Having a difficult boss can make life hard. At the end of the day, you want to have a good relationship with your boss as they can influence your career and affect your work experience.
Q: Sara has a friend that has always been there for her, but her friend is always negative, can’t seem to go a day without saying something nasty about someone, be it a co-worker, a stranger or a celebrity …it’s making Sara uncomfortable but she knows that if she says anything to her friend, she will get upset ….
A: Sara’s friend is obviously unhappy with herself and nothing Sara can say will change that. sara has to maintain a positive boundary, walk away when it gets to be too much. Try to help her feel more positive about herself switch the topic to something else with a positive spin.
And finally question what you’re getting out of this negative relationship?